dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
