They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
