I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
