Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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