Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
