wrigley field is MILF paradise
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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