I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
