So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
