I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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