she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize