Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
