I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize