I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
