Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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