Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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