Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
