I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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