she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
