I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
