it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
