Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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