Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
