So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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