I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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