Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
