Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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