It was confusing and full of hummus
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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