he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
