Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
