i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
