Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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