What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
