Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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