its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i permit you to call me
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
