she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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