Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
