I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
