we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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