My liver just broke up with me...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
