I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
