Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
