Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
