Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
