im having a threesome with these popsicles
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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