His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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