part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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