oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
