all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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