so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
