Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
